Five Tips for Getting Along with Your Ex-Spouse

When a couple goes through a divorce, they may be relieved that they no longer have to deal with their spouse on a daily basis. For couples with children, however, their contact doesn’t end once the divorce is final. After all of the difficulties they may have encountered leading up to and during the divorce, parents must now find a way to share parenting responsibilities and create a stable environment for their children. Here are five tips for getting along with your ex-spouse.

  1. Set Up Regular Communication Times

Although you may not want to, you must communicate with your former spouse. There are many issues that involve the children, and these must be discussed regularly. Set up a schedule to talk to your ex on a weekly basis. Also, allow time for the child to talk with the non-custodial parent. This keeps lines of communication open within the entire family.

  1. Don’t Rehash Your Past Problems

Remember that the divorce is over. Whatever problems you had are now behind you. Avoid the temptation to keep discussing your disputes and agree to move past them. Try to move forward by starting over. Allow yourself to talk to your spouse without the baggage of each of your previous mishaps.

  1. Focus On Your Children’s Needs

Your children’s needs are the most important consideration after a divorce. It is necessary to work together to ensure that their feelings and needs are always put ahead of your own. Include your former spouse in your child’s weekly schedule for such things as activities, events, and classes.

  1. Keep Your Children Out of Your Disputes

If you do have disagreements with your ex, keep them away from your kids. Instead, center on the issues at hand and if you must bring up disputes, do so at a time when the children are not watching. Look to your parenting plan to provide guidance with the details of how parenting time is to be handled.

  1. Don’t Put Kids in the Middle

It is not only awkward, but also unhealthy to communicate through your children. This puts undue stress on your kids. Remember, they have enough to handle after a divorce. Let kids be kids, even if they are teenagers. Keep your kids out of the communication process, and do not make bad remarks about your former spouse. It is also important that you do not allow your children to play one parent against the other.

Getting along with your ex-spouse may be challenging at best. Consult with the experienced legal team at Udall Shumway PLC to guide you through the divorce process.

This blog should be used for informational purposes only. It does not create an attorney-client relationship with any reader and should not be construed as legal advice. If you need legal advice regarding Getting Along with Your Ex-Spouse, or other family law issues, please feel free to contact 480.461.5300, log on to, or contact an attorney in your area. Udall Shumway PLC is located in Mesa, Arizona and is a full service law firm. We assist Individuals, families, businesses, schools and municipalities in Mesa and the Phoenix/East Valley.