Ten Steps to an Amicable Divorce
There is such thing as an amicable divorce. While some might roll their eyes at the idea or think back on the horror stories they have heard from friends and family going through a divorce, it is true. Divorce is not easy, but here are ten steps to an amicable divorce that a couple can use if their case does not need litigation or mediation.
10 Ways to Increase the Chances of an Amicable, Quick Divorce
Amicable divorces are easier, faster, and cheaper. When you are not in court or battling over negotiations constantly, you might also notice it saves your sanity.
- Talk About the Divorce: Regardless of who initiated the process, talking together helps. Discuss issues relevant to the situation. Any areas you do not agree on, you can write down to discuss with your attorneys later. Address items like legal decision-making (formerly “custody”), parenting time (formerly “visitation”), where you both will live, assets, debts, child support and spousal maintenance, and any family pets.
- Timing: Start the divorce process at a time that is not disastrous for either of you. Have a big project at work? Ask the other spouse if they are willing to start after it is over. The point is to avoid an ambush.
- Legal Assistance: Having an attorney is important. Consider hiring attorneys who work with amicably divorcing couples so that matters are handled respectfully and in consideration of the kind of divorce each party is hopeful to have. .
- Use Mediation: Mediators help bridge the gap in stalled negotiations, and you can work out any items you disagree on during your mediation. Walk into mediation with an open mind, and be willing to give to get.
- Put Emotions Aside: No matter how depressed, angry, or anxious you might be, leave your emotions outside. Do not be bitter or look for ways to hurt your spouse. The fewer emotions you impart in the divorce, the easier it will be for both of you.
- Do Not Involve the Children: While you want to inform your kids of the divorce, never involve them, or put them in the middle. Instead, keep children out of the divorce conversations. Consider delivering “the news” together, or at least in a manner and at a time that you and your spouse have discussed and agreed upon.
- Walk Away: When conversations turn heated, walk away. Avoid fighting, yelling, and creating tension whenever possible.
- Attend Counseling: Divorce counseling is an option for couples who wish to divorce with dignity and prevent it from harming their children. Individual counseling can also be helpful.
- Do Not Gossip: Avoid sharing the intimate details of your divorce with friends or family.
- Put Yourself in Your Spouse’s Shoes: Think about what your spouse is going through just as much as what you are going through. By considering each side, it is easier to agree and see where each other is coming from.
This blog should be used for informational purposes only. It does not create an attorney-client relationship with any reader and should not be construed as legal advice. If you need legal advice regarding Steps to an Amicable Divorce, or other family law issues, please feel free to contact Barry C. Dickerson at 480.461.5300, log on to udallshumway.com, or contact an attorney in your area. Udall Shumway PLC is located in Mesa, Arizona and is a full service law firm. We assist Individuals, families, businesses, schools, and municipalities in Mesa and the Phoenix/East Valley.