Seven Tips to Help You Get Through Your Divorce

A divorce might be one of the most intense, emotional events in your life. It can be made worse if the parties involved argue, fight over assets, and allow their case to drag on in court. If you want to avoid a nasty court case, try to keep these seven tips in mind to help you get through your divorce.

1. Get your paperwork in order.

Before you even file a divorce complaint, you can start this process. Filing for divorce requires that you submit an enormous amount of personal documents within the first few weeks of the case, so it’s never too early to begin. Start collecting paycheck stubs, mortgage information, credit card bills, bank account information, and other forms that can provide an overview of your marital finances.  A good rule of thumb is to gather documents for the 6 months preceding the start of the divorce.  Sometimes it will be necessary to go back further but 6 months is a great start.

2. List your assets and debts.

Along with your finances, listing your marital assets and debts is necessary and may help speed things along. Having a list as soon as possible is especially helpful in case you’re concerned that your spouse may try to hide items or accounts so they can keep them after the divorce.  It also helps you to see the “big picture” of your marital estate so you can start imagining different scenarios for resolution.

3. Stay off social media.

Anything you say on social media can and will be used against you. If you’ve filed for divorce, assume your spouse or someone they know is checking your social media accounts regularly to see if you say or do something incriminating. However, it is incredibly important that you do not delete something that you’ve posted as this may be considered spoliation of evidence which may subject you to civil or criminal liability.  It’s best to privatize your online accounts for the duration of your case. If you need to vent, call a good friend or go to a counselor.

4. Take care of yourself.

A divorce is an incredibly stressful life event – people often lose weight, have trouble sleeping, and fall into depression. As difficult as it may be, taking care of your personal health is crucial during this time. Exercise, eat healthy, and avoid over consumption of alcohol. If you still feel low, it may be a good idea to seek counseling.

5. Take care of your kids.

Both you and your spouse should pay special attention to your children during this time. A divorce is life-altering, especially for kids. They now have two homes instead of one, and they take turns spending time with you and your spouse. Many kids have a difficult time adjusting to their parents’ divorce, so you should be mindful of their feelings and put them first. It’s also imperative that you never speak critically about your spouse or your spouse’s extended family to them.

6. Maintain a cordial relationship with your spouse.

Bickering with your spouse during the divorce just adds fuel to the fire. It’s not going to make you feel any better, and it may hurt your kids or even cause the court to take action against you. Avoid profanity, name calling, texting in all caps or using random keystrokes (! * @ %) to represent yelling or profanity.

7. Talk to an experienced divorce lawyer.

Your attorney should be a trusted source during your divorce. You need to maintain an open, honest relationship with your lawyer and, in turn, they will fight to get you the best possible outcome.

How Udall Shumway, PLC Can Help

The divorce attorneys at Udall Shumway, PLC help people get through their divorces as smoothly as possible. We understand how emotionally taxing a divorce can be, and we do our best to settle your matter quickly so you can start your new life.

This blog should be used for informational purposes only. It does not create an attorney-client relationship with any reader and should not be construed as legal advice. If you need legal advice regarding Get Through Your Divorce, or other family law issues, please feel free to contact Lindsay A.M. Olivarez at 480.461.5300, log on to, or contact an attorney in your area. Udall Shumway PLC is located in Mesa, Arizona and is a full service law firm. We assist Individuals, families, businesses, schools and municipalities in Mesa and the Phoenix/East Valley.